Posts

WHY I do what I do

There are so many ways to pitch your business… But what would happen if I started telling people WHY I’m really in the business I’m in, from the heart? 

That question struck me as I was thinking of sending yet another “sales pitch” mail to all the networks I’m in. Do I want to sound like the current “Newsletter trend” or do I want it to come from the heart? When is it actually OK to speak from the heart without following all the sales pitch rules and formats? Are people going to find me weird if I do?

There is only one way to find out I guess, and that’s putting it to the test!

So WHY I’m in this business of Grief Recovery?

When we lost our firstborn daughter it dawned on me how little help there was for us as parents. We had received excellent medical care for our child, but when she had left us and all the medical equipment had been collected we were standing there with an empty crib, diapers, baby clothes, toys and all the rest of it that comes along with a baby. We now had to arrange all the practical details like organising the funeral, tombstone, documents for flying back to Sweden with an urn, insurance, medical bills having to be clarified etc etc etc.

Having to deal with all of that while in a state of chock and grief was mind boggling. There was no real list of support options presented to us, and I had to muster the energy to look for help myself.

I immediately signed myself up as support parent at the Children’s hospital and the palliative home care team here in Zürich to at least give other parents with the same diagnosis a chance to contact a fellow parent. But what about all the other people being stuck in loss and grief? How could I be there for fellow expats experiencing loss, living far away form their natural support system of family, friends, language and familiarity?

That’s when I decided to do the certification to become a Grief Recovery Specialist. I now work with my passion to help others getting unstuck, feel less alone in their grief and have someone listening to their story. I wake up every day feeling so blessed to be able to do this kind of work, and that our daughter taught me so much about life, death and all the things in between. Like my coach Edson Williams said yesterday, “Karin flipped the script from a bereaved parent to using the loss as an inspiration to help others.” That really warmed my heart.

So that’s WHY I’m doing what I’m doing! I just can’t stand the fact that so many are stuck and limited by their unresolved grief, and if I can just help a handfull of these people it’s worth it! And I just have to trust that the people needing my help will find me, in one way or another. Have a great weekend and start of February!

change

Grief Recovery: How does it work?

Hi all, today I would like to start with a quote from the book “the Grief Recovery Handbook” written by John W. James and Russell Friedman – also the same handbook I use when I work with clients:

“Recovery from loss is achieved by a series of small and correct choices made by the griever. “

So how do you go about taking these small steps?

During the 8-week one-on-one Outreach Program or the 12-week group Outreach Program I guide you through the Grief Recovery Handbook, making sure that we look at all the aspects of how you have been taught to deal with loss and grief. For example, time heals all wounds might be a myth that you have grown up with? Here is a picture:

If you broke your arm, would you then sit down and wait for it to heal by itself or would you go to the hospital to get it looked at and cared for properly? So why are we told to wait for time to heal our hearts when they got broken from a loss?

I lost my father in September 2001, just days after the 9/11 tragedy in USA. My world crashed and I wasn’t able to function properly for a long, long while. In 2003 I was introduced to the Grief Recovery Method, as the book was translated into Swedish by Anders Magnusson at the Swedish Grief Recovery Institute in Stockholm.

However, the steps in the book seemed overwhelming to do on my own. Also, I didn’t have to courage to ask someone to do it with me, so I left it, as you do…

It took me another nine years to actually sign up for the course myself, so trust me, I know how big the resistance is to do this work! It was a lot easier when I felt the support from the other people in the group to move forward and do the very important action steps. Without that help I wouldn’t have finished the Grief Recovery process.

I can also confidently tell you that when you decide to do the Grief Recovery Outreach Program, alone or guided by me in a group or one-on-one, you will be able to move on in life without dragging the old weight of unresolved grief and un-communicated feelings!

Drop me an e-mail or give me a call on +41 76 282 98 23 if you want to know more or have questions about how I can help you! Much love!

“Please place the oxygen mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others…”

“Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others.”

We have all heard it, on every flight we have ever boarded, and they are many as we live abroad. And I see a very clear comparison with how we can assist our kids through loss and grief.

We simply do what we have been taught ourselves, Don’t be sad, Replace the Loss, Grieve alone, Be strong (for others), Time heals all Wounds and Keep yourself busy, or something similar might be behaviours that you have been taught as a kid. And as we all know, kids do what we DO, not what we SAY!

So the first thing to do as a parent or guardian, is to look at our own way of dealing with loss and grief. Painful as might be to look at our own stuff, we need to look at what we have been taught and see exactly what “knowledge” we are teaching our kids. As long as we are unaware of what we have been taught, we are passing the same (sometimes false) information on to our own kids. Simple as that!

So if you feel like making the commitment to deal with your own grief and make sure that you have your “oxygen mask” on before you help your child, feel free to contact me or read more under “the Grief Recovery Method®”. Love, Karin

I’m a proud Momtrepreneur!

Hi all, I do write a lot about my work but I just heard this lovely term, Momtrepreneur, the other day and I just felt compelled to write about it!

So how does a Momtrepreneur “work”day look like?

07:00-08:00 Make sure that the kids wake up, have breakfast, brushing teeth (with a lot of threatening about  the trolls eating your teeth if you don’t…), get dressed (hopefully shoes on the right foot, sort of matching clothes, and hopefully finding all the out door gear you need to wear this time of year) – and BREATHE!

Photo taken by Elin, 4 years old08:00 Start the little trip up to Kindergarten, there are a lot of secret paths, leaves, cats, friends and other fun things to stop and look at on the way. Sometimes carrying a kid (15 kg) on one arm and extra gear, bags and a bicycle on the other…

09:00 Get the house back in order, start some washing, check if we have food (if not, too bad!), and get in the car to drive off to my Grief Recovery client. Fist making sure that all is packed, printed and in order 🙂

10:00-11:00 Grief Recovery work! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!

11-12 Dash back home, start lunch, close the computer and end the Grief Recovery work day. Did I accomplish all I needed to have done without having kids in the house… Most of the time the answer is NO! (no, really?!)

12:00 Kindergarten finishes, run up to Kindergarten, just sliding in to the yard as they open the door and the kids are pouring out!  Pick up my daughter <3

12:15 -> Cook, eat, draw, bake, organise play dates…. So that’s how it looks like!

Lunch time!

I’m sure I’m going to look back at this time and as my “younger self”what I was thinking, starting up a business with two small kids! But it also shows that if you have found your passion, which I have in case you haven’t figured that one out yet ( 😉 , you just find the time to get it all done!

And my secret weapon (yes, I admit):

I feel truly blessed!

For the first time ever I feel that I’m doing something meaningful! The amount of trust I’m given from the clients I meet, and to witness them work through really difficult issues makes me feel so blessed!

Grief is so much more than death, separation or divorce and there are so many people living a limited life because they are carrying around old, unresolved grief. These unresolved issues could be anything from moving, changing schools or losing a beloved pet to loss of trust, loss of self worth or loss of your physical body through illness or abuse. It’s just that we haven’t been taught that these issues, and many more, needs to be taken care of and resolved so that the person can move on in life. It’s so easy to be stuck with old memories and wrongdoings. We get reminded of them from time to time and all of a sudden we find ourselves experiencing the whole emotional trauma over and over again!

Have you ever thought about a sad memory and felt that thug in your heart?

I have, many times. I only had to think about the day we got Ingrid’s diagnosis and the day she passed away and immediately I was feeling the same exact feelings, remembering every detail about what I wore, what she wore, what was said and who was sitting where. That was so incredible painful! Now I can look back on these days and cherish the memories without being thrown in to all those traumatic feelings, and what a relief that is!

 

 

Grief Recovery in German!

Why wait? If I can help people deal with their Grief in a more loving and helpful way than I have ever come across myself, why be shy about not speaking PERFECT German? It’s more about listening and be a heart with no mouth so I have no excuses for bailing out on my mission, which is to help as many as I possibly can to get relief from old or more recent grief.

So today, ladies and gentlemen, I’m taking the BIG PLUNGE by starting up with a new client in German! I’m now OPEN FOR BUSINESS I THREE LANGUAGES!

Now certified at the Swedish Grief Recovery Institute

The last week of September I travelled up to Stockholm from Zurich, leaving my kids for the longest time EVER in their lives! The reason was to attend a certification course in the Grief Recovery Program™ at the Swedish Grief Recovery Institute in Stockholm.

So what is grief really and how do you know if you are stuck in unresolved grief?

There are more than 40 events that can create the range of human emotions called grief. Death of a Loved One [or Less Than Loved One], Divorce, Estrangements, Financial Changes and Health Issues head the list. Whether the loss was recent or long ago, it may still be limiting your ability to participate fully in life. The Grief Recovery Personal Workshop assists in the ultimate journey back to your heart and to the mainstream of your life.

To feel sad when you’ve experienced a loss  is normal and natural. However, most of us lack theknowledge how to actually go through a natural grieving process. Instead  we are surrounded bydifferent myths and fears about grief and sadness in our society. Lack of knowledge and insulationare the two main reasons that grief remains unresolved.

IMG_2954The Grief Recovery OUTREACH Program®

The Grief Recovery Outreach Program® is a proven action plan for people who want to process the pain that their losses have caused. The program is designed to provide you with knowledge on how to redeem your grief so that you are able to participate fully in life.

During the program you will complete your own grief processes. It is my role as an instructor to provide you with instructions, tools and support, but you will have to complete the work yourself. The program is not a therapy, but instead a way to provide you with  knowledge and offer support so that you can go through and complete your own grieving processes.

The course material we use is developed by John W. James and Russell Friedman who, during the last 30 years, personally have helped more than 25,000 mourners. For more information about the method you can read more at the Griefrecoverymethod.com or sorg.se (in Swedish).

I’m now certified to offer you  individual sessions where we meet 8 times x 1 hour or group sessions where we meet 12 times x 2 hours. I offer the sessions in Swedish, English or German.

For more information about the program, bookings and rates, please contact me at karin@hagelingriefrecovery.com.

Lots of love, Karin

How do I get the pieces of the puzzle together nicely?

I just read this wonderful quote and it felt exactly as if the words were written for me right now. I’ve tried to explain it to friends as the feeling you have when you know that you are about to get a clear view (finally) of where you are and where you are going but you are not out of the woods yet and therefor can’t see a thing.

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Thomas Edson

It’s really frustrating and despite knowing that those thoughts are not helpful at all, I just can’t help myself getting stuck in the thinking pattern of “What the heck am I  supposed to be doing and how will I make money?” I just don’t want to miss my opportunity to shine in the world and to SERVE others by being the best ME that I could possibly be, so well described in this other genius quote I read recently:

 “There is a vitality, a life force, an energy a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”

Martha Graham

It’s just that RIGHT NOW, this very minute I’m not at all clear on how to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I know what I’m good at and what I do with ease, but I just don’t know how to “package” it or make it a valid business. Just needed to get it off my chest and be done with it (and save it for the record 😉 )!

 I’m guided, life supports me and I’m safe. Love you all!