Posts

I suck at math!

IMG_2737 When I was in 5th grade it was decided that they would divide the three 5th grade classes in my school into three math groups depending on our abilities in that subject. Hence we were divided into the “fast” group, the “average” group and the “slow” group. I have no idea if they were given those exact names, but that was the general idea behind the three groups. I ended up in the “fast” group as I was one of the fastest in math in my class, and had been since 1st grade.

One day, as we were about to get a math test back, our teacher declared (in a very annoyed tone) that someone in the group had managed to MOVE  THE COMMA THE WRONG WAY THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE TEST! That very test ended up on MY desk! I was the one that had been so utterly stupid to do such a thing that the teacher felt the need to tell the whole group about it! I was 11 and I felt so ashamed.

Since that day, because of WHAT that teacher said, HOW she said it and what she DIDN’T DO to repair the damage, I’ve held this view of myself that I suck at math. My whole life I’ve been avoiding having to calculate “in public”, making sure I can triple check if the answer is correct before I show it to someone. I’ve had to ask colleagues to make fool proof formulas that I could follow whenever I needed to do any form of calculation for my “task list”. I’ve gone to great length so save myself from making such “stupid” mistakes ever again because it was so humiliating that first time.

Now, that was just ONE DAY of my life, and what ONE TEACHER said and yet it has affected my ability to calculate in a negative way! I can’t say it’s been a HUGE loss in my life, but I wanted to use it as an example to show you how the opinion from an authority figure from our childhood, (be it a teacher, a coach, a parent or grandparent…) can do to our presently held beliefs about our abilities. Maybe you are carrying a similar story from your childhood around, and maybe that story has created this limiting belief about your own abilities. And that in turn might be limiting you to aim for your dreams TODAY!

Find that memory, lift it up and have a close look at it. Forgive the person who said or did it so that you can free up that space and energy for better and more fun things in life – then move on! If you need assistance in that procedure, just give me a shout OK? Warm regards, Karin

Grief Recovery: How does it work?

Hi all, today I would like to start with a quote from the book “the Grief Recovery Handbook” written by John W. James and Russell Friedman – also the same handbook I use when I work with clients:

“Recovery from loss is achieved by a series of small and correct choices made by the griever. “

So how do you go about taking these small steps?

During the 8-week one-on-one Outreach Program or the 12-week group Outreach Program I guide you through the Grief Recovery Handbook, making sure that we look at all the aspects of how you have been taught to deal with loss and grief. For example, time heals all wounds might be a myth that you have grown up with? Here is a picture:

If you broke your arm, would you then sit down and wait for it to heal by itself or would you go to the hospital to get it looked at and cared for properly? So why are we told to wait for time to heal our hearts when they got broken from a loss?

I lost my father in September 2001, just days after the 9/11 tragedy in USA. My world crashed and I wasn’t able to function properly for a long, long while. In 2003 I was introduced to the Grief Recovery Method, as the book was translated into Swedish by Anders Magnusson at the Swedish Grief Recovery Institute in Stockholm.

However, the steps in the book seemed overwhelming to do on my own. Also, I didn’t have to courage to ask someone to do it with me, so I left it, as you do…

It took me another nine years to actually sign up for the course myself, so trust me, I know how big the resistance is to do this work! It was a lot easier when I felt the support from the other people in the group to move forward and do the very important action steps. Without that help I wouldn’t have finished the Grief Recovery process.

I can also confidently tell you that when you decide to do the Grief Recovery Outreach Program, alone or guided by me in a group or one-on-one, you will be able to move on in life without dragging the old weight of unresolved grief and un-communicated feelings!

Drop me an e-mail or give me a call on +41 76 282 98 23 if you want to know more or have questions about how I can help you! Much love!

“Please place the oxygen mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others…”

“Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others.”

We have all heard it, on every flight we have ever boarded, and they are many as we live abroad. And I see a very clear comparison with how we can assist our kids through loss and grief.

We simply do what we have been taught ourselves, Don’t be sad, Replace the Loss, Grieve alone, Be strong (for others), Time heals all Wounds and Keep yourself busy, or something similar might be behaviours that you have been taught as a kid. And as we all know, kids do what we DO, not what we SAY!

So the first thing to do as a parent or guardian, is to look at our own way of dealing with loss and grief. Painful as might be to look at our own stuff, we need to look at what we have been taught and see exactly what “knowledge” we are teaching our kids. As long as we are unaware of what we have been taught, we are passing the same (sometimes false) information on to our own kids. Simple as that!

So if you feel like making the commitment to deal with your own grief and make sure that you have your “oxygen mask” on before you help your child, feel free to contact me or read more under “the Grief Recovery Method®”. Love, Karin

I feel truly blessed!

For the first time ever I feel that I’m doing something meaningful! The amount of trust I’m given from the clients I meet, and to witness them work through really difficult issues makes me feel so blessed!

Grief is so much more than death, separation or divorce and there are so many people living a limited life because they are carrying around old, unresolved grief. These unresolved issues could be anything from moving, changing schools or losing a beloved pet to loss of trust, loss of self worth or loss of your physical body through illness or abuse. It’s just that we haven’t been taught that these issues, and many more, needs to be taken care of and resolved so that the person can move on in life. It’s so easy to be stuck with old memories and wrongdoings. We get reminded of them from time to time and all of a sudden we find ourselves experiencing the whole emotional trauma over and over again!

Have you ever thought about a sad memory and felt that thug in your heart?

I have, many times. I only had to think about the day we got Ingrid’s diagnosis and the day she passed away and immediately I was feeling the same exact feelings, remembering every detail about what I wore, what she wore, what was said and who was sitting where. That was so incredible painful! Now I can look back on these days and cherish the memories without being thrown in to all those traumatic feelings, and what a relief that is!

 

 

What myths about grief did you learn as a child?

There is a lot of homework to go through if you decide to sign up for the Grief Recovery Method®! However, it is there in order to lift forward the old myths and intellectual comments you have learned to use when you are grieving yourself or when you meet others in grief.

Wouldn’t it be a relief to shake these old beliefs out once and for all?

Just drop me an email at karin.andersson.hagelin@gmail.com if you want to know more about the Grief Recovery Method®! Take care of yourself <3

How do I get the pieces of the puzzle together nicely?

I just read this wonderful quote and it felt exactly as if the words were written for me right now. I’ve tried to explain it to friends as the feeling you have when you know that you are about to get a clear view (finally) of where you are and where you are going but you are not out of the woods yet and therefor can’t see a thing.

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Thomas Edson

It’s really frustrating and despite knowing that those thoughts are not helpful at all, I just can’t help myself getting stuck in the thinking pattern of “What the heck am I  supposed to be doing and how will I make money?” I just don’t want to miss my opportunity to shine in the world and to SERVE others by being the best ME that I could possibly be, so well described in this other genius quote I read recently:

 “There is a vitality, a life force, an energy a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”

Martha Graham

It’s just that RIGHT NOW, this very minute I’m not at all clear on how to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I know what I’m good at and what I do with ease, but I just don’t know how to “package” it or make it a valid business. Just needed to get it off my chest and be done with it (and save it for the record 😉 )!

 I’m guided, life supports me and I’m safe. Love you all!

“I have a big sister and her name is Ingrid”

We have managed to shock quite a few people during our holiday in Sweden this year. The reason being that Elin is now big enough to share her world with people she meets (and that are not immediate family or friends), and she proudly tells everone that she has got a big sister who is called Ingrid.

Many then look at me as if asking “Is she making this up?” and I then find myself smiling a bit apologeticly for having to “shock” them with the news that it’s true and that Ingrid is in heaven. Then there is a short pause and maybe an “oh” or “I understand”and that’s it. I’m not saying that it’s wrong, hurtful or even irritating, it just is what it is.

I have to get used to my children speaking freely about the fact that they do have a big sister in heaven. And I have to make sure that I can support them with words and stories in order to help them tell others about their reality. Ingrid is so present in our lives and that is how we wanted it to be, no secrets and no hiding the fact because her younger sister and brother are too small to hear the truth.

So if anyone out there knows of a good book for children who has a sibling in heaven, and that is POSITIVE and FUN, please share, also so I can share it on to other families in similar situations!!! Thanks and have a fantastic day!

                                    Elin and Victor planting flowers for Ingrid <3

The weird wonders of vision boards!

I lerarnt about vision boards when I first med Edson Williams (leadbyexample.com) as I attended his workshop “Access to Success” in November 2010. So I decided to give it a go last year, with this result:

There was a lot about changing carreer and work on reaching my dreams, but also a picutre of Lilou Macé (liloumace.com), a web TV host who travels around the world interviewing just about any person she finds interesting! What a cool thing to do! And there are a lot of famous names on her interview list so go check her out on YouTube (liloumace).

Next week, on the 5th of July, I’m going to have lunch with Lilou in Stockholm!!!! I mean, how cool is that?! She is one of my role models right now regarding living the dream and her interviews has brought me to where I am today in a way. A lot of people she’s beein interviewing has helped me personally, and also helped me help others. I’ve bought tons of books, I’ve forwarded and posted hundreds of her interview links and I keep on following her progress.

This year’s vision board hosts a lot of head lines from a Magazine given out by Carolina Gårdheim at Kreativ Insikt in Stockholm (kreativinsikt.se), like “Find your own Life Artist”, “Creative Insight” and their Vision as it was so nicely written. I’ve now brought Lilou and Carolina togheter, Lilou will interview Carolina after our lunch together and I’m there as the glue! I just can’t believe that all of this is happening!

I’ll report back to you when that meeting has taken place 🙂  Until then I really urge you all to sit down and map your dreams, visions and goals by getting a stack of amgazines, a glue stick and a fairly big piece of paper in front of you and get creative!

Or if you feel that you don’t have space to put it somewhere, use a photo album that you can a) do smaller, themed vision boards in abd b) put away after you have looked at it for the day 🙂

Signing off and flying to Sweden on Monday!

 

When mommy breaks…

All of a sudden my back decided to give up on me! It started this Saturday, in the evening, and the pain spread down my left leg until it got so painful that I could no longer walk.

Sunday was mostly spent crying from pain and my kids were confused as to why their normally fit and very active mom was now lying on the cough crying like a baby. The doctor had to come and hit me with the strongest painkillers available in her doctors bag, Elin watched with big eyes and then ran off to get her own doctor kit, so sweet!

So now I’m stuck, can’t lift my son up to change his diapers, can’t sit by their bed side telling stories, can’t cook, clean or do the laundry. The only thing I can do is lie down and rest my back. Luckily I’ve got the best husband ever, even if I can see that it’s very stressful for him to be home from work and managing everything when I can just lie there and watch. Frustrating for me as well, as I’m normally the one getting everything done!

I just want to stress HOW IMPORTANT it is for the mother to be fit, happy and strong. I even lectured about just that for the Spoogle group at Google Zurich office on Thursday (more on that in my next post), and then I end up breaking myself! Maybe I will now understand the importance of eating well, exercise and take EXTRA SPECIAL GOOD CARE of myself from now on. It doesn’t do anyone in the family good when mommy breaks, please remember that and take care of yourself!

 

Alfalfa sprouts – how and why on earth you should start growing them!

I’ve always been keen on growing things, but then I got busy with other things like kids, home, work etc etc etc… My mom was here recently and she had us all start cultivation thinks in jars, empty egg boxes and the kids even got a little green house to grow things in. Since then I’m hooked! It’s so nice to come in the kitchen, attend to the little jar with Alfalfa sprouts and see them grow, and then start organising for breakfast. It’s easy, fun, goes fast, the kids enjoy watching it and mom enjoys eating it! Here is some nurtitional values for you to concider (and get inspired to get a jar going yourself 😉 ):

 

“Alfalfa sprouts juice contains a myriad of valuable nutrients such as calcium, folic acid, magnesium, manganese, molybdenum, phosphorus, potassium, silicon, sodium, zinc.

This is the only plant that supplies the full range of vitamins, from vitamin A, B complex (even B12), C, E to K. Alfalfa sprouts placed in indirect sun for a couple of days before harvesting, even produce nutritious blood-healing chlorophyll.” From www.juicing-for-health.com

 

How? Just get yourself a glass jar (like the one on the pic for example), a bag of Alfalfa sprouts, rinse them with water and leave them to start growing! You have to rinse them with water in the morning and in the evening – that’s it!

So, why on earth? Because it’s FUN, HEALTHY and tastes DELICIOUS on anything except desserts.

Tell me how it goes, folks!