Posts

WHY I do what I do

There are so many ways to pitch your business… But what would happen if I started telling people WHY I’m really in the business I’m in, from the heart? 

That question struck me as I was thinking of sending yet another “sales pitch” mail to all the networks I’m in. Do I want to sound like the current “Newsletter trend” or do I want it to come from the heart? When is it actually OK to speak from the heart without following all the sales pitch rules and formats? Are people going to find me weird if I do?

There is only one way to find out I guess, and that’s putting it to the test!

So WHY I’m in this business of Grief Recovery?

When we lost our firstborn daughter it dawned on me how little help there was for us as parents. We had received excellent medical care for our child, but when she had left us and all the medical equipment had been collected we were standing there with an empty crib, diapers, baby clothes, toys and all the rest of it that comes along with a baby. We now had to arrange all the practical details like organising the funeral, tombstone, documents for flying back to Sweden with an urn, insurance, medical bills having to be clarified etc etc etc.

Having to deal with all of that while in a state of chock and grief was mind boggling. There was no real list of support options presented to us, and I had to muster the energy to look for help myself.

I immediately signed myself up as support parent at the Children’s hospital and the palliative home care team here in Zürich to at least give other parents with the same diagnosis a chance to contact a fellow parent. But what about all the other people being stuck in loss and grief? How could I be there for fellow expats experiencing loss, living far away form their natural support system of family, friends, language and familiarity?

That’s when I decided to do the certification to become a Grief Recovery Specialist. I now work with my passion to help others getting unstuck, feel less alone in their grief and have someone listening to their story. I wake up every day feeling so blessed to be able to do this kind of work, and that our daughter taught me so much about life, death and all the things in between. Like my coach Edson Williams said yesterday, “Karin flipped the script from a bereaved parent to using the loss as an inspiration to help others.” That really warmed my heart.

So that’s WHY I’m doing what I’m doing! I just can’t stand the fact that so many are stuck and limited by their unresolved grief, and if I can just help a handfull of these people it’s worth it! And I just have to trust that the people needing my help will find me, in one way or another. Have a great weekend and start of February!

change

“When children Grieve”

What an important theme that is, how we as adults can assist our children through loss and grief.  It could be anything form dealing with death (of a grand parent, parent, relative, sibling, animal…), divorce, pet loss, moving, illness, changing school, losing confidence, self worth or power to get out of a bad situation…

So how can we teach our children those useful skills to deal with their feelings surrounding the topic loss and grief?

That’s exactly why I’m committed to create a workshop for you all that want to be able to give your children the right tools and skills to deal with loss from an early age.

Stay tuned for January 2013 and sign up for my newsletter to be notified when and where the workshop is taking place.

Love, Karin

How do I get the pieces of the puzzle together nicely?

I just read this wonderful quote and it felt exactly as if the words were written for me right now. I’ve tried to explain it to friends as the feeling you have when you know that you are about to get a clear view (finally) of where you are and where you are going but you are not out of the woods yet and therefor can’t see a thing.

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Thomas Edson

It’s really frustrating and despite knowing that those thoughts are not helpful at all, I just can’t help myself getting stuck in the thinking pattern of “What the heck am I  supposed to be doing and how will I make money?” I just don’t want to miss my opportunity to shine in the world and to SERVE others by being the best ME that I could possibly be, so well described in this other genius quote I read recently:

 “There is a vitality, a life force, an energy a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”

Martha Graham

It’s just that RIGHT NOW, this very minute I’m not at all clear on how to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I know what I’m good at and what I do with ease, but I just don’t know how to “package” it or make it a valid business. Just needed to get it off my chest and be done with it (and save it for the record 😉 )!

 I’m guided, life supports me and I’m safe. Love you all!

Meditation – here we go!

After reading approximately a million books, all urging the importance of meditating for different reasons (Improved concentration, Less bothered by little things, Better Health, Knowledge of Self, etc etc etc, read more on “Pick the Brain“)  I have FINALLY decided to give it a go! It wasn’t until I read those words that I could finally let go of the “have do do it perfectly or not at all” mentality, maybe it will help you too:

Meditation is simply the art of relaxing your body and quietening your mind.  Meditation is learning to hold your attention on one thing, to the exclusion of all else, for about fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes a day to close your eyes and clearing your mind  is all that you will need to expand your awareness. All you must do is to sit in a comfortable chair, place your feet on the floor, and put your hands on your lap. Close your eyes and inhale deeply. Then slowly exhale. Concentrate all your thoughts on one idea, “I am peace”, “I am still”, “I am relaxed” or only other simple repetitive mantra. Just expect to relax and think of nothing but relaxing and being quiet for fifteen minutes.

 

I have been avoiding it for many weird and wonderful reasons, “I don’t have the time”, “I’m never alone”, “I don’t have the right meditation pillow to sit on”, “I can’t sit in the Lotus pose”, “I feel ridiculous”, “What if someone in my family walks in on me?!” etc etc etc. And then finally, last week as I was reading one of these million books, I decided that enough is enough and I’ll give myself 15 minutes before going to bed and be persistent with it. I even told my husband that I’m going to be meditating, sitting in our bedroom with a candle so he knows and won’t disturb 🙂 No, he didn’t think I was weird (at least he didn’t say 😉 ), no, I haven’t bought myself a meditation pillow, and no, I don’t need to make it painful, hard or embarrassing, I just need to START doing it!

So I did and I’m still doing it. It actually feels like an adventure! What will happen once all those “everyday thoughts” stops grabbing the attention? What cool thoughts will finally have the space to emerge?! I’m really looking forward to this new tool.

To your own Meditation success and thanks for reading!

A desperately tired, frustrated and unfocused mother in need of a relaxed mind!

Not OK!

So what if you have a big sister who is absolutely crazy about princesses and lives in her princess dress the WHOLE time? Would you not start to wonder what you are missing out on? I would for sure! So did Victor and insisted on trying this magic dress on! I laughed so hard and just had to send a pic over What’sApp to daddy – the answer I got was “Not OK” 🙂 LOL!!!!! Anyway, he’s the prettiest princess ever <3

I’ve also decided to re-name my blog from Goals are Dreams with a deadline – it was a bit too ambitious and I do want to start writing more about how I actually cope with the family puzzle myself, now that we have a company named Parenthood Puzzle! Well, it’s time to practice what you preach and hence the new name – A mother’s quest to solve the parenthood puzzle 🙂 What do you think about the name? I’m really curious!