“Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others.”
We have all heard it, on every flight we have ever boarded, and they are many as we live abroad. And I see a very clear comparison with how we can assist our kids through loss and grief.
We simply do what we have been taught ourselves, Don’t be sad, Replace the Loss, Grieve alone, Be strong (for others), Time heals all Wounds and Keep yourself busy, or something similar might be behaviours that you have been taught as a kid. And as we all know, kids do what we DO, not what we SAY!
So the first thing to do as a parent or guardian, is to look at our own way of dealing with loss and grief. Painful as might be to look at our own stuff, we need to look at what we have been taught and see exactly what “knowledge” we are teaching our kids. As long as we are unaware of what we have been taught, we are passing the same (sometimes false) information on to our own kids. Simple as that!
So if you feel like making the commitment to deal with your own grief and make sure that you have your “oxygen mask” on before you help your child, feel free to contact me or read more under “the Grief Recovery Method®”. Love, Karin