My very first post EVER

Did a little time travelling this evening and found my very first blog post from May 26th 2011. It’s amazing what can happen in three years time! From unemployed to starting my first business (Parenthood Puzzle), to certified Grief Recovery Specialist with over 30 finished clients (and that’s just in the last 1.5 years)! From finding that setting up a blog is challenging to building and managing my own website… I wonder where I will be in another 3 years time!

My first post:

img_0424.jpgThe corporate job is no longer, a coach has been hired, a Facebook group page has been created, a blog is taking it’s first staggering little steps, an action plan is being sketched upon and the whole kitchen door is full of Post-Its. Now, to set up a blog was a bit more challenging that I had thought and then mix it with the new experience going from PC to iMac in the process did not make it less challenging, but absolutely doable. The list is long for tomorrow and I want to get some meet up events started for next week already, want this to be the pilot run for the “real deal”. The blog is going to be my way of keeping record of what’s happening and when, help me keep track on my progress and reaching of one goal after the other. I read somewhere that Goals are Dreams with a dead line, and that is now plastered over my computer as I write. So please feel free to join me on my journey from corporate stress to entrepreneurial bliss (?). Soon two little kids will be picked up from day care and the entrepreneur will put on the mommy hat for the evening, which is a very nice hat indeed! Let’s see where it all ends!

EFT Tapping – my newest tool!

As you might have seen on my Facebook Page, I’ve been in Stockholm to do my EFT Tapping practitioner course!

So how will this benefit you?

First, let me tell you a little bit about what EFT Tapping actually is. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique and it’s a type of Meridian Tapping that combines ancient Chinese acupressure and modern psychology with brilliant results. It can be used for:

  • pain relief
  • healing childhood traumas
  • clearing limiting financial beliefs
  • weight loss
  • body image and food cravings
  • clear fears and phobias
  • clear grief

Tapping is proving to be a powerful, well-researched and easy to learn and apply technique. It uses the body’s energy meridian points by stimulating them with your fingertips, literrally tapping into your body’s own healing power.

Read more about it on The Tapping Solution 

I will use this technique alongside my Grief Recovery work to clear physical pain, fears and limiting beliefs that come up during our work together. I will be able to help you both in person and over Skype. Please contact me if you want to hear more about it.

 

A TED talk that got me going this morning!

Hi all, it’s Tuesday and BLOG MONDAY was, yes you have guessed it, YESTERDAY! I’ve had a busy few weeks, doing major “behind the scenes” improvement to my business AND finished a three month health coaching program with a dear friend (I’ll tell you more in a later blog post). So this morning, after leaving my 4-year old at the play group I finally allowed myself some rest. I started with a meditation which obviously led me to falling asleep on the couch. Luckily I got woken up by an SMS, and since I had the phone next to me (highly likely on any day, location and time) I clicked on a link that was recommended to me yesterday.

What happened next was that I jumped off the couch, ran to the BIG (stationary, yes we have one) computer, watched it AGAIN, signed up for his mailing list AND got stuck reading more of this mind blowing content on this guy’s website.

Just the name made me jump with joy, LIVE YOUR LEGEND! I mean, WHO doesn’t want to live life like that? Then I thought to myself, I have all the potential in the freaking WORLD to do just that! I have a passionate WHY, I want to help people thrive by emptying out that huge bag of issues that are holding us back (“We all have our bags to carry.” – BUT WE ALSO HAVE TOOLS TO HEAL FROM IT!!!). And yet I find myself starring out in space, not knowing what the heck to do next, I think I’ve had a Social Media shock reaction or something.

So here I am, blogging away like a crazy person, on a TUESDAY, trying to figure out how to LIVE MY LEGEND so that I can be of even more service to the people of this planet.

When you start living your life fearlessly (probably what legends do, I would assume?) you can also make a huge impact on the planet and live YOUR legend! I think a big part of getting there is to release all your old fear, pain, grief, guilt and shame so that you can take that freed up energy and DARE GREATLY – for your sake and for all of us. Who’s with me? I do want to hear your comments!

 

The loss of hopes and dreams

Swiss MountainsOn the 14th of May 2007 I did not only loose my child, I also lost all the hopes and dreams that I had painted up in my mind while she was growing in my belly.

To finally be a little family. To see her develop and grow. To experience her first tooth, her first birthday, her first steps, her first words, her first day of school, our family holidays. To see her experience and learn about the world. To see what her path would be in life and to be there to cheer her on, comfort her, encourage her and see her grow up to be an adult. To love her unconditionally.

All of that was also lost, and all of that I finally had the opportunity to express as I wrote her a letter. It made all the difference, so there is hope, people! You CAN survive, and you can even be happy again. I’m the perfect example.

“Our little angel is going to leave us”

This is a blog post I wrote on the Swedish Forum  Familjeliv.se on January 26, 2007:

Ingrid Eva Linnéa“On 18 September 2006 our little angle was born. She was perfect and we were so happy to have got such a pretty girl. At the 2-month check up the paediatrician discovered that she had wasn’t moving the way she should be, and we were referred to Children’s Hospital for further check-ups. On the 15th of December we were given the nightmare diagnosis that our little girl had spinal muscular atrophy type 1, and that most of these children die before the age of 1 year. So now we are sitting here waiting for the inevitable, that her muscles will become weaker and weaker. That she will no longer be able to eat by herself, and finally not being able to breathe any longer. HOW on Earth will I be able to handle this?? Is there someone who has something helpful to say? We are trying to be brave for her sake, but our hearts are right now breaking from all the grief. ”

If you know someone in a similar situation, please send them my link. It’s not about me, it’s about all those desperate parents that I might be able to offer a glimmer of hope. THANKS!

It took me nine years to face my grief

scared as hellIt took me NINE years to reach that point of exhaustion where I just said to myself “I really, really, really need to get help to finally let go of the all the pain and drama in my life”. By that time I had lost my dad, moved abroad and lost my first born daughter (in that exact order).

What would happen if I finally took charge of my emotional system? What would need to change? Who or what would I have to let go of in my life? What patterns, behaviours and thoughts would I have to change? What would I have to start doing or who would I have to start being if I got well, finally felt unstuck, started to live my purpose, quit that awful, life draining job? Who would I have to become if I let go of all the drama that defines me?

That’s a lot of scary stuff… I know, that’s why I waited for so long. But I refused to define myself as the bereaved mother, stuck in pain, guilt and sadness forever and ever. There had to be another way!

Only you will know when you have reached that crucial point when changing how you define yourself and your pain and drama is the only sustainable thing you can do in order to move forward. Why don’t you grab the opportunity and start getting clear for the new year NOW by redefining how you want to show up in the world? How you want to feel? What you want to contribute to?

There are a million-and-one techniques out there, I’m teaching ONE of them, but I encourage you to go out and investigate which one rings true to you. Only you know whats best for you.

It’s easier to do good if you feel good

Elin, 2012Hi all, first I want tot wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope for you all that you will have an AWESOME year ahead!

How easy is it to meet a new day with a smile if you are full of resentment and anger? How willing will you be to help that mother with the pram getting off the bus? How happy will you be to help your colleague with a task at work? How friendly will you be to the cashier at the grocery store, or the waiter at the lunch restaurant? How loving will you be to your family at the dinner table in the evening?

Now flip it and ask you the same questions when you feel happy and content. What happened?

Please share your thoughts, I really want to hear!

And DO watch this “paying it forward” 5 minute video, it will make you feel better for sure!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc8ZbVcdHpg

What are you afraid of?

We all have them, FEARS that keep us at bay, playing small, not daring to live our dreams, and not “rock the boat”.

I grew up in Sweden the country where we actually have a LAW that states the following (taken from Wikipedia):

The Law of Jante is the idea that there is a pattern of group behaviour towards individuals within Scandinavian communities that negatively portrays and criticises individual success and achievement as unworthy and inappropriate. … Generally used colloquially as a sociological term to negatively describe an attitude towards individuality and success common in Sweden and the rest of the Nordic countries, the term refers to a mentality that de-emphasizes individual effort and places all emphasis on the collective, while discouraging those who stand out as achievers.

So basically I was breast fed with this fear of sticking out, shine bright and follow my passion, because what would the others say?! That fear has deep roots and it takes time to release it, but it can be done. As long as you don’t give up on yourself and your dreams you will find a way to release those fears, one by one.

I sometimes sit here in my little office (which I’m so grateful to have, by the way) and feel like no one is appreciating what I’m doing, no one is reading what I’m putting out there and I might as well go back and get a “real” job. Yes, it’s true, and it takes an enormous amount of energy to engage in this self pity (because I know deep within that it’s not true at all). Energy that I could have spent on more fun, life loving activities like recording that corny Christmas video I had in mind for you all… 😉 And I’m tired, oh so tired, of letting those fears and “Law of Jante” run my life. So I’ve committed to start peeling them off, one after the other, starting TODAY.

Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to release those energy sucking fears and move on and actually LIVE the rock star life that you want to create? 

Isn’t it a perfect time to start doing that as we are approaching a new year?

Remember, the NUMBER ONE regret of the dying:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.” Author: Bronnie Ware

Don’t be one of those having that regret at the end of your life! 

The world needs you and your special talents, passions and love, so PLEASE go out in the world and share it with us before your time is up!

And if you need help to get started, just give me a shout! I have a bunch of free resources that you could start to check out 🙂

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P.S. This is the tool I’m using right now to get in the habit of a Miracle Mindset: Gabrielle Bernstein’s 40 day May cause Miracles guide book. I’m sure I’ll talk more about it in another blog 🙂

So it is Christmas…

IMG_3652We are now two weeks away from Christmas! A lot of us are  busy getting all the Christmas gifts, food shopping and family plans in order for the big holiday!

But for many this Christmas will be the first one celebrated….

  • without their loved one
  • without their beloved pet
  • without their partner (and maybe children) after a separation
  • after getting a devastating diagnosis
  • after losing their job
  • without celebrating with close family and friends after a big move

The empty seat at the dinner table is a massive reminder of who’s not there, and family rituals change due to the departure of a particular family member. Approximately 64’000 will have passed away before end of December 2013 in Switzerland. Around 280 of them will be children under 18 years old. A lot more will have gone through a separation of some kind. Even more will have received devastating news of some kind, but those big changes and reasons to feel lost and in grief are not as easy to spot on the statistical radar.

So I wanted to equip you all with some tools that could come in handy should you meet, or even be one of these grieving persons during the holidays.

What are the things to AVOID saying to a grieving person?

  •  Don’t say “I know how you feel”.

This one is a doozie and it seems to be comforting doesn’t it. Well it isn’t. You see when someone is in a pit of despair they have no idea how they feel so how the heck would you know? Just because your Mum died and their Mum died doesn’t mean it’s similar – this is because every person and every relationship is unique, so the pain is unique – and here’s the thing. This isn’t about you – it’s about them so stop changing the subject to you!

  • Don’t say “Be grateful you had them so long”

This is a well meaning attempt to get you to count your blessings but in truth it’s plain hurtful. No matter how long you had them you’re entitled to want them around now and yes you’re grateful but you still want more and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

  • Don’t say “You’ll find somebody else”

Well this may be true eventually but while I’m in deep pain missing the love of my life desperately it’s also completely irrelevant to how I feel NOW. So if you find yourself tempted to say this to anyone who has lost a partner through death or relationship breakdown; stop. Take a breath and think about someone or something important to you and say to yourself – “if you lost them don’t worry you can get another one”; register how that feels then say something else.

  • Don’t say “They’re in a better place.”

Now according to your belief system this may or may not be true. However it is also irrelevant to the person still here and grieving. It may give a slight comfort if they share that belief, it may cause acute discomfort if they don’t. Either way it’s also changing the subject again – away from their perfectly natural and valid pain and onto the person who isn’t there.

  • Don’t say ” So, he won’t be needing those golf clubs/concert tickets/other stuff”

I’m sure I don’t need to explain why this is a bad one – but mainly it’s because once again it’s about you (and your desire not to see those tickets wasted!) and not about the person in pain.

So what are GOOD and HELPFUL things to say?

The main thing is to be honest and sincere. Sometimes all that’s needed is a hug or a smile. Ask questions, be ready to really listen to the answers and don’t offer solutions – a griever wants to be heard not fixed.

Some helpful starters are:

  • I imagine that you feel like….

Starting a sentence with “I imagine” is unassertive and gives the griever a chance to correct you. For example you say “I imagine you feel like you’ve been hit by a train” and they say well more like my entire world has exploded. This has given them a chance to say quite unconfrontationally how they really feel. Saying “you must feel devastated” will be generating an internal “yah think!!!” even if it’s not said out loud.

  • What happened?

Give them a chance to tell their story – don’t interrupt – questions are about you not them

  • I don’t know what to say…

Is often the best thing to say when there really is nothing to say.

 

Source of above bullet points: blog article “Top five things you should never say to a bereaved person and a few that you should” by Carole Batchelor Certified Grief Recovery Specialist www.griefrecoverymethod.co.uk

 

If you need more resources, there is a really good webinar where Russell Friedman from the Grief Recovery Institute talks about The Impact of Grief During the Holiday Season. Listen to it here.

Are you “daring greatly”?

Photo taken by Elin, 4 years oldHi all, I’m right now reading the book Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. The subtitle is “How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead.” It’s fascinating stuff, and it has made me realize what is happening in the world right now. People are no longer looking for the “corporate” websites, where the text is like reading an annual report and without revealing anything about the people behind the company itself.

A new way of daring to be authentic is on the rise, and I only have to go to my own statistics to prove it. The minute I started to share my own stories and experiences I had a MASSIVE increase in readers! People want to know who you are and if you have what it takes to guide them thought whatever issue you need help with, be it coaching, medical assistance, web design or legal assistance. If you are about to take your PADI Scuba Diving certificate, you would WANT to know that the instructor has some experience to guide you in case something would happen under water, as your life might depend on it. So what problem or issue is it that you can guide your potential client or partner through? And how would you describe that on your website? Are you putting your story out there or are you using the corporate language to attract clients? What works for you? What would “people” say if you were more personal and authentic in presenting your business?

Those questions are some of which I’m currently working on myself and I would love to hear your input on the topic!