The adrenaline is pumping…

…after crossing the yard with a hysterical 4 year old! She had decided way too late that she a) wanted to go with her kick-bike to the day care b) that she wanted to bring a toy with her. Both things, of course, I couldn’t accomodate as I wasn’t about to turn around.

I wish there was a little “parent coach” living in my pocket, that you could pull out and coach you through the tantrum, like EVERY TIME! “Parent coach in my pocket” – what a great concept!! I’ve found a great blog, in Swedish, www.petrakrantzlindgren.se and she is just that little person I would like to have in my pocket, that could ask those clever questions and make me see what’s going on REALLY. It’s so easy to react with stress, anger and frustration and thereby add to the drama, instead of calmly find out what’s going on and find a solution. If I can’t have a coach in my pocket, maybe I could at least get a little stone or something that reminds me of a few wise tips. I’ll get back to you with the result! Have a great day!!

I have found my fist clue!

OK, so I’ve found my first clue, I don’t really like coffee!!!!!

I’ve been sick this week, stuck with a horrible flue, so I lost my appetite. Also, I didn’t feel like drinking coffee. So now, when I feel a bit better I’ve noticed that if I really really stay present and TASTE the coffee when I drink it, it don’t really like the taste. So why drink it? In the book “Women’s bodies, women’s wisdom” she clearly states that you should avoid coffee to reach optimal health, so I’m now officially OFF coffee!

Becoming private detective for a month

I’m reading this brilliant book right now, “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom” by Christiane Northrup. I haven’t even finished the first chapter, but I’m hooked! What she talks about EVERY WOMAN should read and know more about!!

Here is a little passage from the end of ch. 1 “Our bodies and their symptoms are our biggest allies in this endeavor, because nothing gets our attention as quickly. Our bodies never lie. They are impeccable barometers of how well we’re living in the present and taking care of ourselves. To become healthy and whole, you must have enough courage to be in touch with the wisdom of your female body, and to follow the desires of your heart.Nothing is more exciting than knowing that our bodies and our feelings are a clear, open pathway toward our destinies.”

This, of course, got me all excited so I’ve decided to become my own private detective in search for this inner guidance! Here are the facts:

The thing to be found: My inner guidance -> find out what my body means when different parts of it hurts and what I need in order to be back in balance=health

Search tools & techniques: the book “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom” by Christiane Northrup, M.D, “You can heal your life” by Louse Hay, pen, a note book, blog, meditation

Time frame: 26 February – 31 March 2012

I’ll keep you updated!

We survived – how we dealt with a terminal diagnosis

This post is mostly for you that might be in the same situation that we were in 5 years ago. I just want to say, although you honestly don’t think you are going to survive – I mean, how can you when your child dies – you do survive! Somehow you do.

We decided on creating this “fairy tale” about Ingrid being a very old soul that only needed a huge boost of unconditional love to rise to the next level, and that we had to respect Ingrid’s life journey. She had chosen us as her parents because she counted on the support and unconditional love she needed to survive as long as she could. The diagnosis was what it was and we couldn’t change that, so we might as well do the very very best we could, and I’m SURE that every parent would. For us it was pointless to start asking “Why us?”, “Why her?” etc. You are never ever going to get a satisfying answer.

The hardest part was that we felt so alone, abroad without our relatives and close friends close by for support (however, a lot of new, beautiful people stepped up and helped us!!). That we just got sent home after getting the diagnosis, without a follow up plan or support system in place made me feel so lost and helpless.

We found ourselves standing outside on the pavement outside the hospital in a dark, wintery Zürich, not knowing if what just had happened was was real or not. It all felt so surreal. I just wish that there had been someone there to offer us a big hug or hold our hand for comfort, but there was no such person. So after Ingrid had passed away, I swore that no one should have to feel that lost and lonely so I volunteered as support family both with Kinderspital Zürich and Kinderspitex (home care unit for palliative care at home) in case anyone else would get the same diagnosis and asking for support. I received a phone call from Kinderspitex last week again, and although it brings back very raw memories, there is no way I’m going to step away from that responsibility.

So here is my offer: if you have just gotten the same, shitty diagnosis SMA type 1, and you are “Googling” (as we did) after what on earth just smashed your life in to tiny tiny pieces, PLEASE contact me! I’m here, I can listen, I can take it!

Lots of love, Karin

The post I’ve been scared of writing

I just watched one of the latest videos by my friend Niall at Disrupting the Rabblement (go check his site out, it rocks!!) where he is calling bullshit on on your invulnerable self. It’s basically writing/telling about the stuff that you are scared of writing about, that makes you vulnerable and that means opening up with the true story even if it makes you feel insecure. http://youtu.be/tfn23myCkqg

So here is one of the posts that I’ve been holding back with and that I now feel the need to write. Firstly because it might just help someone in some weird and wonderful way and secondly to put things in perspective for myself. Because what I do now is also scary. It’s scary to decide not to go back to the corporate world, it’s scary to start something new and see what the reactions from others will be, if any at all. But as you shall see, there is “scary” and “scary”. First I thought about doing this as a video, but it’s now after midnight and the whole family is sleeping! There will be other opportunities to talk about this in videos later on, I’m sure.

It’s about the scariest thing that has happened to me to date. The date was the 15th of December 2006 and we had been called back to the Children’s Hospital here in Zürich to get the results from the tests made on our first born daughter Ingrid, three months old. I can recall that I had even dressed more “hip” than normal as a protection I guess, because bad things don’t happen to “hip” people, right?

We were called in to see two doctors and one of them started telling us that Ingrid had been diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy type 1, a genetic disease. She went on to tell us that those children rarely live much longer than 8 months. By this time I’m sitting with Ingrid in my arms, rocking her and myself, whispering to all three of us “this is not happening, it’s not true” like a mantra, over and over and over again. They then gave us a list with phone numbers in case we wanted to get help in any way and then we were sent back home with our terminally ill baby girl.

This story changed our lives, and it has given me the strength to go out and find my life purpose. There are no coincidences in the Universe and I believe that Ingrid came to show me that I can do more with my life than hang around in a 9-5 job. What I do now, I do thanks to her and thanks to her sister and brother. I need to pull more strength from that story in order to help and inspire others, and telling it like it is is necessary in order to do that. I just can’t let what we went through, and survived, go to waste behind a desk in an investment bank.

Stuck in “Flueville” and two great listening tips!

OMG, evil evil flue – I’m not kidding! I haven’t been this ill in years. The kids have been completely pacified with fever and a bad cough, and I was next. Everything just grinds to a halt, had to cancel a bunch of fun meetings for today and tomorrow 🙁 . However I do believe that I had to get this “break” and just “be” instead of my usual do, do, do, busy, busy, busy.

When the body refuses to move you just have to focus on what you can do to make it feel better, so I’ve been listening to my iPod. I’ve got two amazing books on there, 101 Power Thoughs by Louise Hay and The Wayne Dyer Audio Collection. Two amazing people who has so much to teach us all. What they both say is basically, change your thoughts – change your life! Not so easy at times, but well worth a try I think. Do you have any good examples of how you changed your thoughts?

An insight from reading a kids book…

I was reading the book “Tomten” by Victor Rydberg to my 2-year old son this morning. To make a long, beautiful story short – this gnome walks around the farm and all of it’s different little houses/stables and such, making sure that all the farm animals and the farmers family are safe during the night as gnomes do (?). It’s winter and the farm is tucked away far out in the dark country side in Sweden somewhere.

All of a sudden it dawned on me – this is how my grandparents lived at least the first part of their lives. Well, except for the gnome perhaps… Only one generation parts me from old farmer generations from Dalarna and Hälsingland in the north of Sweden, both on my mothers and my fathers side. How they lived and how I live is only one generation apart but it could easily have been 1000 years! It makes me wonder how my kids will look at our lives, with our iPods, iPads, iPhones, internet, blogs, You Tube, Facebook, Twitter and the like… basically having the whole world at our fingertips. What do you think they will say?

It just made me feel in awe of my grandparents and I’m very proud to belong to this old, wise family of farmers.  It’s time to unleash that farmer’s strength and determination! Thank you Anna Lind, Ingvar Pettersson, Maj öjermark and K-W Hagelin for making it possible for me to live an breathe 🙂

And all of this philosophical mumbling from reading a kids book. Have a lovely start of the week!

QoolaQvinnor.se – just received the warmest welcome ever!

This is so cool!! I just left a comment on their FB site and look at that response, well if you can read Swedish! It says sort of “We just received a greeting from Zürich and these cool women (link to our FB Page). Maybe we’ll be represented outside Sweden soon? Welcome to our network Parenthood Puzzle. Take a look at their activities and let yourself get inspired of the female power.” THANK YOU for that warm welcome, QoolaQvinnor.se!

Alfalfa sprouts – how and why on earth you should start growing them!

I’ve always been keen on growing things, but then I got busy with other things like kids, home, work etc etc etc… My mom was here recently and she had us all start cultivation thinks in jars, empty egg boxes and the kids even got a little green house to grow things in. Since then I’m hooked! It’s so nice to come in the kitchen, attend to the little jar with Alfalfa sprouts and see them grow, and then start organising for breakfast. It’s easy, fun, goes fast, the kids enjoy watching it and mom enjoys eating it! Here is some nurtitional values for you to concider (and get inspired to get a jar going yourself 😉 ):

 

“Alfalfa sprouts juice contains a myriad of valuable nutrients such as calcium, folic acid, magnesium, manganese, molybdenum, phosphorus, potassium, silicon, sodium, zinc.

This is the only plant that supplies the full range of vitamins, from vitamin A, B complex (even B12), C, E to K. Alfalfa sprouts placed in indirect sun for a couple of days before harvesting, even produce nutritious blood-healing chlorophyll.” From www.juicing-for-health.com

 

How? Just get yourself a glass jar (like the one on the pic for example), a bag of Alfalfa sprouts, rinse them with water and leave them to start growing! You have to rinse them with water in the morning and in the evening – that’s it!

So, why on earth? Because it’s FUN, HEALTHY and tastes DELICIOUS on anything except desserts.

Tell me how it goes, folks!

Not OK!

So what if you have a big sister who is absolutely crazy about princesses and lives in her princess dress the WHOLE time? Would you not start to wonder what you are missing out on? I would for sure! So did Victor and insisted on trying this magic dress on! I laughed so hard and just had to send a pic over What’sApp to daddy – the answer I got was “Not OK” 🙂 LOL!!!!! Anyway, he’s the prettiest princess ever <3

I’ve also decided to re-name my blog from Goals are Dreams with a deadline – it was a bit too ambitious and I do want to start writing more about how I actually cope with the family puzzle myself, now that we have a company named Parenthood Puzzle! Well, it’s time to practice what you preach and hence the new name – A mother’s quest to solve the parenthood puzzle 🙂 What do you think about the name? I’m really curious!